Attire

One of the first things every bride does after getting engaged is to begin the hunt for wedding attire. Not only does the average bride wish to find the perfect wedding gown for the day, she also usually wants to pick out the attire for the rest of the wedding party. This page deals primarily with main attire, such as gowns and suits. For items such as jewelry, veils, undergarments, garters and crinolines, please visit the Accessories page.

Wedding attire is usually considered one of the most important parts of wedding planning.

Wedding Gowns

Selecting Styles & Styles Explained

Not every dress style looks good on every body. However, there are literally millions of different dress designs to choose from in more than just the color white. Whether you hire a designer or make it yourself, a bride needs to begin by looking at other dresses and decide what styles she likes.

There are 10 main types of designs for wedding gowns: A-line, ball gown/ballerina, basque/dropped V waist, baby doll dress, dropped waist, fish tail/mermaid/flair/trumpet, empire, princess, drape, sheath, natural waistline, two-piece/combination. There are several types of bodice styles: traditional bodice, bunched, corset bodice, ballerina bodice, draped bodice, folded bodice, jacket bodice, overlay bodice. There are also several different train lengths: cocktail-length skirt, calf-length skirt, ankle-length skirt, sweep train, court train, chapel train, cathedral train, and royal train/full court train. If you decide to have a train will you leave it loose, have a detachable train, or a bustle? The different necklines include: asymmetric neckline/one shoulder, bateau neckline/sabrina neckline, halter neckline, oriental neckline/mandarin neckline, Queen Anne neckline, portrait neckline/off-the-shoulder, sheer neckline, strapless, spaghetti straps, square neckline, jeweled neckline, sweetheart neckline, turtleneck/high neck, v-neck, round neckline, and scoop neckline.

These are just general styles and any dress can be modified for your specific tastes. For information on each style (and to see a picture), just click on the style name that interests you.

Fabrics & Weaves Explained

After you've navigated through the styles, you may want to educate you on some common fabrics & fabric weaves used in creating wedding gowns. This is important because some brides have more sensitive skin than others, and some brides may want a different feel to their dress than others.

Common fabrics & weaves used to make wedding dresses are illusion fabric, tulle, batiste, organza, brocade or jacquard, linen, cotton, silk, Rayon, velvet or velveteen, polyester, leather, pvc or vinyl, duchesse satin, charmeuse, pique fabric, faille, crepe, silk gazar, denim, chiffon, gabardine, damask, jersey fabric, crepe back satin, moire, georgette fabric, organdy, peau de soie, dupioni, and habotai silk.

Once you have in mind the kind of dress you'd like, it's time to find somewhere to get it. If you already have a gown in mind that previously belonged to a relative, there are also tips on how to retain the integrity of the dress while adding your own unique style.

How To Obtain Your Gown

There are numerous places in which to purchase or alter wedding dresses. Because the bridal industry is such a profitable one (and often an emotionally charged one), the smart bride needs to be a smart and wary consumer. Every bride-to-be knows of at least one horror story of someone's wedding dress turning from a dream to a nightmare. If you know more about what is out there, you can avoid a nightmare of your own (and spending much more money than you would otherwise!) If you're concerned about price, you can find the main dress part of the gown ranging anywhere from US$145 to US$1,900.

Many brides opt to hire a seamstress or dressmaker to make their wedding gown for them. This way the dress is guaranteed to be exactly what she wants and fitted to her perfectly... in theory. Many dressmakers will deliver the dress exactly according to specifications, but some will fall painfully short of expectations. While it may seem both economical and fun to allow a friend or acquaintance to make your dress for you, keep in mind that this person may take liberties with your gown because that personal relationship is there. In the end, they may not have the expertise to make the dress you want or simply run out of time to do it. A professional dressmaker, however, sees you as their "bread and butter." If a professional dressmaker screws up your dress, that is bad business for him/her. Always ask to see samples of his/her work in advance, especially wedding gowns and preferably in person. A good dressmaker should have a portfolio of sorts to show you. Be sure to verify that the samples you are viewing were made my the dressmaker his/herself and not taken from a magazine or catalogue. Most importantly, make sure you begin this process at least a year in advance. Making a dress from scratch is time-consuming and requires a higher attention to detail. If you order the dress well in advance, there will be time to change it if something goes amiss.

If you're adept at sewing, you may consider making your own gown. While this is time consuming, many brides have found this very satisfying and produced beautiful results.

Bridal Boutiques

Many brides opt to go to privately owned bridal boutiques. These boutiques can give brides a large variety of gowns, including designer gowns, and give the brides superb one-on-one service. However, some boutiques engage in unethical business practices. If a boutique does any of the following, you should find another place to shop: refuse to let you take pictures of the gowns before you buy them, does not have manufacturer's labels on the gowns, requires you to put a large non-refundable deposit on a gown before they order it, pressures you to order a larger size than you are, or requires that they do all and any alterations on the dress. All of the above practices are warning flags that this business could give you problems.

Bridal Wear Superstores

There are several off-the-rack bridal wear superstores. Many brides who are looking for a bargain shop these shops. However, these stores are subject to the same unethical business practices. In addition, they may also do the following: sell display/sample gowns as brand new, sell used/rental gowns as new, say they are ordering a dress for you but giving you a used dress, etc. However, many superstores treat their customers well and sell designer-looking gowns for deeply discounted prices.

Factory/Company Stores

In recent years there has been an increase in bridal gown makers opening their own factory/company stores. As with the other types of wedding gown retailers, they are subject to the same unethical business practices. However, since you are buying directly from the maker rather than from a 3rd party retailer, you often will get better discounts and can verify the authenticity of the gown.

Shopping on the Internet

Some brides opt to do their shopping via the internet and buy from stores on the internet. As internet shopping has become more and more popular, purchasing a bridal gown over the internet is a viable option for today's brides.

Websites like Pre-owned Wedding Dresses list new, used and sample designer wedding dresses for a fraction of their retail price. There are also some message boards that allow brides to exchange dresses with one another. Many websites offer brides to sell their dresses to other brides, such as Bridal Exchange in the UK and the IndieBride Trousseau in the United States. SewBridal sells designer, handmade dresses used as samples for patterns for a fraction of the cost.

While internet stores may have discounts that brick and mortar stores do not, there are some things brides must keep in mind before they purchase from an internet seller. First, a bride should get her measurements taken by a professional and consult size charts given on the website. Second, a bride should research the site's return/exchange policy. Some internet shops will not allow any returns or exchanges on wedding attire. Given that a bride is unable to try on the gown before the purchase, she is taking a chance if for whatever reason the dress does not fit or is not able to be worn. Some online stores, like Amazon.com and Overstock.com give brides many options for vendors and guarantee the satisfaction of their customers.

eBay/Auctions

Some brides search for their gowns on eBay, Yahoo! Auctions, etc. Many auction houses have "certified sellers" so the bride can rest easy knowing that she will get the auction prize she won. However, brides do need to be aware that they may lose the auction on the dress they desire or there may be problems with the dress itself.

Modifying/Using A Previously-Owned Gown

Some brides inherit dresses from other family members or buy a gown that they wish to have radically altered to fit her own unique style. First, the bride needs to find an experienced seamstress or dressmaker who has an established record of being able to modify dresses. Second, the bride needs to sketch ideas for her dream dress or present the dressmaker with pictures outlining the modifications. Finally, the dressmaker may request that the bride buy her own fabric. When selecting fabrics to compliment the current fabric on the gown, a bride may want to bring some swatches of the dress to a local craft or fabric store and get the opinion of the staff there. Finally, the bride needs to begin this process far enough in advance (at least 8 months) so that problems can be handled well in advance and fittings can be scheduled.

Tamara in her rented wedding gown.

Renting A Gown

In addition to buying your dress or having it made, there is a third option. You could rent it, but just like anything to do with weddings, there's pros and cons.

The pros of renting a gown are:

• Significantly less cost than purchasing a gown
• No cost related to storing/preserving your gown
• No worrying what to do with your gown once you've done your walk down the aisle

The cons of renting a gown are pretty similar to the "buyer beware" type of comments:

• You do have a chance of having a crummy vendor who won't rent you the gown you were promised. Be sure to bring your Brides' Bill of Rights with you whenever you deal with a vendor.
• You do usually have to get alterations, but most reputable boutiques will allow you to pick up the gown the Monday or Tuesday before your wedding AND refer you to a good seamstress.
• If you soil/damage the gown you will be charged more, read your contract for specifics.
• You won't be able to make your dress into a christening gown or have your daughter wear it, etc.

However, rental gowns are a great deal for a bride who wants a more expensive dress than her budget allows. One bride rented the entire package: gown, crinoline, tiara, and veil for less than $300.00!

Alterations & Fittings

Many times the dress of your dreams may not quite fit you like a dream. Some full-service bridal boutiques may include free alterations with your dress, while others may offer discounted alteration services. However, the frugal bride should shop around and get several quotes for alterations- including from tailors who do work other than bridal gowns. Once a bride has decided on someone to do her alterations, she should sign a contract stating what the alterations will be, the finish date, and the number of fittings. Fittings should begin at least 4 months prior to the wedding date. Many brides schedule their fittings at the 4 months, 2 months, and 5 weeks before the wedding date. If your alteration place does not include steaming your dress in the alterations, you should also consider getting your dress professionally steamed before your wedding day.

Honor Attire

Maid/Matron of Honor

Selecting different attire for your honor attendants can set them apart from the rest of the wedding party.

Some brides wish for their honor attendant(s) to look similar to their bridesmaids- others prefer the honor attendant(s) to have an entirely different look. Be sure to consult your Maid/Matron of Honor on her preferences towards her attire. Some brides opt to put the honor attendant(s) in the same color as the bridesmaids but with a different dress style, while some use the same dress style but in a different color. Others will have all their attendants dressed differently while some may want all their attendants dressed identically. Some brides opt to have their honor attendant(s) in a different shade of the same color or with a different type of coordinating accessory (tiara, wand, etc.) Whatever your preference, be sure to get started on this around or before 4 months until the wedding because some dresses may have to be altered or ordered.

As part of the dress selection process, you may want to shop with your honor attendant(s) at various stores until you find a style that is right for your attendant(s). If this is not possible due to distance, time, etc. many Maids/Matrons of Honor will opt to go shopping and then send the bride pictures so that she may make the final decision on the dress.

Once the dress is selected, the bride should make recommendations on different accessories- including hair implements, jewelry, shoes, and comestic styles.

Best Man

When considering the attire for the Best Man, the bride/groom must take into consideration aspects similar to choosing attire for the Maid/Matron of Honor. The groom needs to decide how different he would like the Best Man's attire to be from the rest of the groomsmen, if at all. Please see the Suit & Tuxedo Information below.

Attendant Attire

Bridesmaids

Brides generally pick their bridesmaids because of the special relationship they have with them and do not take into consideration physical aspects. A bride may find herself with a bevy of beautiful bridesmaids in scattered sizes. Not every dress looks right on every body and many brides find themselves frustrated when trying to find a dress that looks good on her attendants.

A-line and two-piece dresses look good on nearly any body. For brides who have few or similar-bodied attendants, the sky is the limit depending on the similar body type. A bride may also decide to put her attendants in the same color but in different dress styles.

It is "traditional" for a bridesmaid to pay for her own gown, so do try to keep the budgets and lifestyles of your attendants in mind. You may find a dress for as low as US$160.

Groomsmen & Ushers

Groomsmen and ushers traditionally wear tuxedos and/or suits (depending on the formality of the wedding.) Some couples have the groomsmen and ushers wear identical attire while others have them wear matching but dissimilar attire. The formal attire generally consists of a tuxedo jacket, tuxedo pants, a cumberbund or vest, dress shoes, and a tie or ascot. Some couples also opt for coordinating handkerchiefs if the tuxedo jacket has a pocket- these handkerchiefs can be monogrammed and used as attendant gifts as well.

For general tuxedo information, see the Suit & Tuxedo section below.

Flower Girls

The flower girl is the only person in the wedding party who is traditionally allowed to wear the same color as the bride. Many brides actually prefer the flower girl to wear smaller versions of their wedding dress. Some couples dress their flower girl in a costume, such as a fairy or butterfly.

Ring Bearers

Similar to the attire of the flower girl, the ring bearer generally wears a suit similar to the grooms. Some couples opt to dress the ring bearer in attire more similar to the best man, groomsmen, or ushers. However, as ring bearers are generally children it is not recommended to put a boutonniere on them- the straight pin may injure them if they try to play with it.

Mother Attire

Mother of the Bride & Mother of the Groom

Traditionally, the mothers coordinate so that they are wearing similar dresses. Some couples opt to have the mothers wear the same dresses but most allow a larger selection for their mothers. The mothers traditionally will wear dresses or suits of the same length (tea length, floor length, etc.) and of the same color. Depending on the formality of the wedding, the mothers may wear either dressy pants outfits or dresses. The mothers should always consult the couple about their attire preferences.

Many mothers prefer wearing darker colors, however a mostly black dress should be avoided. This symbolized in the past that the mother did not agree with the marriage arrangement. Conversely, mothers should also avoid wearing the same color as the bride. Many mothers opt to wear attire coordinating with the wedding colors.

Stepmothers

Depending on the relationship the stepmother has with the couple, the stepmother may wish to coordinate her dress with the other mothers. Regardless, the stepmother should abide by the same rules for the mothers: stay away from black dresses and the color the bride is wearing.

Grandmothers, Aunts, & Godmothers

Depending on the relationship the female relative has with the couple, the relative may wish to coordinate her dress with the other mothers. Grandmothers traditionally wear tea-length or ankle-length dresses in soft colors that coordinate with the general theme of the wedding. Aunts and godmothers tend to prefer to dress in more vibrant colors that also coordinate with the wedding theme. While wearing black is not much of a faux pas for aunts or godmothers, all female relatives should refrain from wearing the same color as the bride.

Suit & Tuxedo Information

When thinking about men's attire, one of the first questions is what kind of attire is appropriate for the wedding. Next, the type of attire should also be appropriate for the kind of wedding. Expecting males to dress in a full tuxedo for an outdoor wedding at the hottest time of the year is a recipe for disaster. If you wish the men to look a certain way, consider an indoor venue or a different time of year.

After the type of dress has been chosen, the couple must decide the styles and colors for the men in both their families and the wedding party. Some couples want their wedding party to coordinate with family members, while others do not. It is even possible to assign different styles for each kind of participant.

The groomsman and the bridesmaid could have matching colors.

Ordering Tuxedos

It's important to order tuxedos in advance, especially at least six weeks ahead of time.

As part of the order, tuxedo rental stores and men's stores can also get specific measurements for the best-fitting tuxedo for each man. Some stores may even have an online option to mix and match various colors and styles for tuxedos.

Tuxedos can either be rented or bought. A rental can go for about at least $50, but buying one would cost at least $300. Renting a tuxedo is a much cheaper way to go, as buying one would only be important for someone who needs to wear a tuxedo more than six times a year.

The Groom's Tuxedo

The groom traditionally wears a black tuxedo with a white shirt, but if the wedding gown isn't white, the groom's tuxedo, or at least the lighter parts of the tuxedo such as the shirt, could match the gown's color.

The Attendants' Tuxedos

Father of the Bride & Father of the Groom

Compare the groom's tuxedo and his father's tuxedo.

Both the father of the bride and the father of the groom should dress generally the same as the groomsmen or at least in something that complements the groomsmen's dress.

Stepfathers, Grandfathers, Uncles & Godfathers

Other key attendants who may not play a very prominent role (such as a groomsman or the father of the bride) should dress as if they do.

External Links & Sources

• Bridal Guide vol. 22 no. 4, July/Aug. 2006, p. 60: "Wedding Q&A" by Diane Forden.
• Bridal Guide vol. 22 no. 5, Sept./Oct. 2006, p. 108: "Luxe for Less" by Elena Donovan Mauer.
• Bridal Guide vol. 22 no. 5, Sept./Oct. 2006, pp. 282-285: "Bridal Guide Fashion: Crowd Pleasers"
• IndieBride Trousseau - New and used gowns at discount prices, for sale by owner.
• eBay Wedding Dress Listings
• SewBridal dress sales
• TJFormal Tuxedo Measuring Guide
• The Atlanta Journal-Constitution: "Tuxedo Talk"
• The Wedding Specialists of New York: Tuxedo Information
• Men's Wearhouse: Build a Tuxedo
• DreamWeavers: Ask Eleanor: Tuxedos and Accessories
• WedAlert.com: Ask Mikki: Tuxedos and Formal Wear
• Dubois Formalwear & Boutique: Questions
• After Hours Formalwear: Wedding Tuxedos
• StarDust Celebrations: The Groom's Room
• About Tuxedos: Wedding Tuxedos