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The wedding ceremony is the actual event where the couple is joined in marriage. This is the central focus of every wedding and the reason for the months of planning!
Choosing a Venue
Your wedding venue is very important. Some venues offer all-inclusive packages. Others are simply sites in which to hold the wedding. The location of the wedding is often one of the most important aspects of wedding planning to the couple. In fact, some couples will plan their wedding date based on availability of a particular venue.
Make A List of "Must-Haves"
If you are shopping for a venue, it is important to make a list of things that you want at your ceremony site. Bring this list (along with a copy of the Brides' Bill of Rights) with you to each place you visit. You may want to consider the following:
- Does the venue charge by the hour or by the event? Are there time restrictions you will need to consider?
- What is the cancellation policy? (ALWAYS GET THIS IN WRITING!)
- Are there any restrictions on what vendors you can use?
- What is the maximum occupancy?
- How much do you need to pay and when?
- How is the venue able to be decorated?
- Are there any restrictions on music?
- Who can officiate at the wedding?
- Will the venue be available for rehearsals or decoration before the event?
- What are the regulations regarding fires, emergencies, inclement weather, or other unforeseen events?
- Who is to be contacted in case there are problems with the venue?
- Do you need to carry any sort of event insurance to use the venue?
- Is the location of the venue convenient? Is it easy to find? Is it near the reception venue?
- What kinds of flowers and florists can be used? (If applicable.)
- Are there any dress or clothing restrictions?
- What areas are able to be used? Are there any areas that are off-limits?
- Are there any restrictions on candles? Dropped flower petals? Thrown rice or birdseed?
Booking the Venue
Once you've decided on a venue, you need to book it as soon as possible so that someone else won't snatch up your date. Most venues require you to sign a contract and put down a deposit. Always read the contract and make sure there are no hidden fees or things you weren't informed of in advance. Never leave a venue before getting a copy of the signed contract. As a double precaution, try to pay for the venue- even the deposit- with a credit card. Paying for things with a credit card helps protect you against loss later.
| Tip: | Before finalizing your venue, make sure you have everything in writing- including all fees, checklists, rules, regulations, and cancellation policies! Have a representative from the venue sign the document so you have recourse if something goes amiss. |
Be sure you keep everything you receive from the venue in a folder or your wedding planner. The venue will normally give you a lot of important information and you don't want to lose it. Once you have chosen a venue and put down your deposit, you can begin planning the rest of your ceremony.
Research for Decorations
Take measurements of the venue and any tables, chairs, etc. you may be utilizing there. Make note of the placement of things and how the room is arranged. You may also want to make a note of how many light fixures there are, how many doors there are, and how many pews and/or seats there are. Also be sure to measure the vases and/or any other place where you may wish to put flowers. You may also want to familiarize yourself with the staging area, and make note if there are changing areas, hooks for hangers, bathrooms nearby, etc.
When taking note of these things, also note the natural colorings of the surroundings. Depending on the venue, you may need to tweak your original decoration plans and wedding colors. Always take into consideration the natural coloring, light sources, and shades of the venue when planning for decorations.
For some couples, there isn't much guesswork in choosing an officiant. They may have a religious leader, friend, or relative that is willing to do it, or they may be having a civil ceremony before the actual wedding. Sometimes the venue will provide an officiant or insist the couple use an officiant they designate.
Before choosing an officiant, you need to do a little bit of research to see who can and cannot legally marry you in your state. While
| Tip: | Some officiants require premarital counseling or other special preparation classes as part of their agreement to perform the ceremony. Make certain you know what your officiant expects of you. |
Choosing/Writing the Ceremony
Some couples have venues which require a certain ceremony to be used. Other couples opt for a more traditional ceremony or one that is
Introduction
Statement of Purpose
Readings
Vows
Some couples may opt to write their own vows. Generally, the vows are said either during or immediately before the giving and receiving of rings. For samples of various wedding vows, visit the wedding vows page.
| Tip: | When you've finished choosing and/or writing ceremony, be sure to give it to your officiant in advance. He/she may need to make some changes depending on your particular situation. Remember that some venues, especially if they are religious in nature, may have strict guidelines on what can and cannot be said. |
Seed
Standing
Seating
Departure
After the ceremony, guests traditionally threw rice at couples as they left the ceremony venue. More recently, alternatives have grown popular, using throws such as flower petals, confetti, bubbles, and a more wildlife-friendly birdseed. Some venues do not allow birdseed or rice, as they make walkways more treacherous, especially for older people who do not have a sure footing.
Some brides have elected to release doves or butterflies on their wedding day, but this is strongly advised against by wildlife experts and entomologists. Many of the animals used for this purpose have been bred in captivity with a stagnant gene pool and releasing them into the wild could damage the genetics of natural populations. Conservationists everywhere denounce the use of animals as entertainment in our human ceremonies, and urge brides to think carefully about how their wedding will affect the community in which they live.
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