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There are many factors to consider when choosing those who will be in your wedding party. When choosing people, try to take into consideration their desires as well as yours. Some people maybe better suited for some duties than others. In addition, you want to choose people who will be willing to do the rule. Traditionally, family members were considered to fill bridal party roles before friends. However, it is common for the modern couple to choose those who are closest to them regardless of relation.
Many brides give this honor to their best friend or a close female relative. However, some grooms may choose to have a Maid/Matron of Honor in lieu of a Best Man. As the MOH plays an essential role in the wedding, it is advised to choose someone who is organized and has a strong sense of duty in seeing through projects. As the MOH also has to work with many different types of people, a person with good diplomatic skills is also a plus. Overall, it's best to choose someone who is very close to you and on whom you know you can depend.
Make sure to explain to your Maid or Matron of Honor all the tasks you wish them to undertake, as each Bride will have different idea on what needs to be done. The MOH role can be very busy and time-consuming, if you've been asked by a future Bride to fill this role, make sure that you understand everything that you'll be getting into. As wedding plans develop, they also change, so make sure to keep up-to-date on all changes and speak with the Bride frequently.
A Best Man should have qualities similar to the MOH. Because of this, the groom (or bride, depending on the preference of the couple) often picks his best friend or another male relative. Like the Maid/Matron of Honor, the Best Man plays an essential role in the wedding. An organized person who is comfortable with taking charge of situations is ideal for this. It is also important that the Best Man is organized and responsible as traditionally he takes care of many of the legal and rental issues, as well as handling and distributing money to various vendors.
Hi. I am to be married to my long time love on Sep 2, 2006. I am having issues on picking my brides maids. I have 4 friends that have been my friens since Jr. High. I really want to have them in my wedding. See, we already have two year old twins together so we wanted a fairly small wedding. With the size of our family, I doubt that we will get that. He has 3 sisters. I am not close to any of them, and just plain dont get along with one. I am not sure what to do because I know he wants me to have his sisters stand up with us. I am not willing to give up my friends being in the wedding, but I feel that 7 bridesmaids is too many. Can anyone help me PLEASE???? I need advice.
Thanks.:) -Jess
Choosing attendants can definitely be a sticky situation. While traditionally female family members (including the sisters of the groom) were asked to be bridesmaids, modern brides are encouraged to ask people with whom they feel closest. Given the number of activities a bride shares with her bridesmaids, it only makes sense to ask the people to whom the bride feels the most profound connection. Just as the groom always has the final say in who his attendants will be, the bride always has final say in her attendants. If a bride is not comfortable asking someone to be her attendant, it is her perrogative not to do so.
In this case, I would suggest offering a role other than bridesmaid to your fiancé's sisters. They could read scripture or a poem during the ceremony, be guest book attendants, gift table attendants, acolytes, or ushers. There are many other roles someone can play in a wedding, even in a small ceremony. Because you are not close with them, and do not get along with one, I would recommend offering them a non-bridesmaid role such as the ones suggested. Gently explain to your groom that you would not feel comfortable having his sisters as bridesmaids, but that there are many other ways you can have them included in the ceremony. This is a good compromise and allows you to have the attendants you would like. Also mention that 7 bridesmaids are a lot more expensive than 4. You would need to buy 3 more gifts, 3 more bouquets, and 3 more of anything else you are giving to your other bridesmaids. In addition, he may need to choose more attendants himself if you wish to have equal numbers of bridesmaids to groomsmen. If your desires don't convince him, the sheer expense of extra attendants may.
| Tip: | Never choose more attendants than you can afford (remember that the bride is responsible for their gifts, bouquets, and special accessories), and only include attendants you know you will still love when you view your wedding photos ten or twenty years down the road. Friends are wonderful, but family is forever. You will always have pictures of these people as a keepsake! |
Groomsmen
Traditionally, groomsmen consisted of brothers of either the bride or the groom. However, many modern couples choose close friends to fill this role and have the brothers serve as ushers. Since the groomsmen deal with the guests primarily, you may want to choose gentlemen who are charismatic and well-mannered. As the groomsmen are also responsible for assisting the Best Man, dependability may also be a factor in choosing someone.
Ushers
The role of user compromises several activities. Ushers may pass out programs, get guests to sign the guestbook, escort guests to their seats, run errands for the wedding party, hold open doors for the attendants, and other assorted tasks. Many couples like to choose older children or teenagers for these roles, or members of either family who are not in the wedding party otherwise. Choose wisely, however, because a ten year old's "race down the aisle" may not help 90 year old great-grandmother to her seat!
Couples may want to specify which usher walks which set of parents or grandparents to their seats, as well. Mothers often revel in seeing their child's childhood friend or college chum dressed for the occasion and showing such solemnity and joy for their son/ daughter.
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