 A father giving away the bride.
Introduction
Everyone knows of the time-honored tradition of the father giving away the bride on the wedding day. Typically, this means that the father walks the bride down the aisle and passes her hand to her new groom. However, this tradition has variations depending on the culture and the relationships between the couple and their parents. Some brides do not wish for their fathers to give them away. Some couples choose to both be given away by their parents. Whatever the circumstance, there are many ways to accomodate the couple's preference in the ceremony.
Father & Stepfather Issues
 A father and stepfather assist the bride.
My step-father has raised me since I was nine years old, and he's been very much like a father to me. Yet, I recently have been rebuilding my relationship with my biological father. Is there any way that I can have them both walk me down the aisle? Neither of the fathers seem very keen on the idea.
Problems like this are much more common in more recent generations. It can be a bit difficult to hold this tradition and please everyone.
One possibility is mentioned above: have both "fathers" walk you down the aisle at the same time. In that case, you can have one father on each arm and pay your respects in that manner. In some cases, though, this may be difficult since one father or the other would feel uncomfortable sharing the spotlight with the other. (Not to mention, it presents an interesting dilemma for holding your bouquet.)
One compromise is to symbolize their involvement in your life by staging the "giving away" process. For example, you might have the biological father walk you half-way down the aisle before passing you off to the step-father as an acknowledgement for the work they did in parenting you. Thereafter the step-father hands you to the groom.
There are other compromises and decisions that might work as well:
- Have both fathers escort you down the aisle, but only the longest-term parent can hold your arm. (The other walks beside you.)
- Ask your groom to allow one father to hold the rings rather than the Best Man.
- Ask your groom to add one of the fathers as a groomsman.
- Breaking with tradition, you can add a special step before your entrance in which the other father can participate. For example, lighting of candles or, perhaps, announcing the bride's entrance with a very vocal and quick presentation (e.g. "Ladies and gentlemen, may I now present to you, my darling daughter, the bride.").
- Put your foot down and state that it will go as you plan. It is Your Day after all. For some brides, this may be difficult depending on how the wedding is being funded, how the family will view it, etc. Just stay firm and remind everyone that this is the most important day of your life and you owe a lot to both men.
No matter what you decide, it's important to let both fathers now how much you care for them-- just the fact that you're working with this dilemma shows how much you love them both.
Ceremony Wording
There are many ways to word the ceremony depending on who is being given away and by whom. Traditionally, the person who is giving away the bride will put his hands on her right hand and joins her hand with the hand of the the groom. Below are some examples.
Father Only Giving Away Bride
Officiant: Who comes forward to give (Bride) to (Groom) in marriage?
Father: I do.
Officiant: With the blessing of the father, (Bride) and (Groom) now come forward to be joined in marriage.
Officiant: As the bride comes forward to begin a new life with her husband, her father will give his blessing to their union and give the bride to her groom.
Officiant: Who shall give this woman to this man in matrimony?
Father: I will. (Places the hands of the bride and groom together and addresses the couple.) With a heart full of love for my daughter, I bless this marriage. I ask that you watch over my little girl and love her unconditionally as I have.
Father: Please accept the hand of my daughter, (Bride's first name), of the Gotra (Bride's last name).
Groom: I do accept. (Groom presents a gift to the bride, usually a scarf or jewelry.)
Groom/Bride: Ye learned people assembled at this sacred ceremony know it for certain that we two hereby accept each other as companions for life and agree to live together most cordially as husband and wife. May the hearts of us both be blended and beat in unison. May we love each other like the very breath of our lives. As the all-pervading God sustains the universe, so may we sustain each other. As a preceptor loves his disciple, so may we love each other steadfastly and faithfully.
Officiant: Who shall give (Bride/Groom) to (Groom/Bride)?
Father: I shall. In giving (her/his) hand to you, I give you also my blessing for a lifetime of happiness in your marriage.
Both Parents Giving Away The Bride
 A father and mother both give away the bride.
Officiant: This union brings together different family traditions in the hope that a new family tree will become strong and fruitful. Theirs is a personal choice and a decision for which they are primarily responsible, yet their life will be enriched by the support of the families from which each comes. Therefore, I have these questions for you:
Do you affirm your continuing support and love to (Bride & Groom) as they grow in their marriage?
Parents: We do.
Officiant: Do you celebrate with them the decision they have made to choose each other?
Parents: We do.
Officiant:Do you offer to them the best of your care and counsel in their times of struggle and your celebration with them in their times of joy?
Parents:We do.
Officiant: Would the parents of the (bride/groom) please come forward to present your child for marriage?
Parents: With the joining of your hands, we bless and approve of your marriage. We promise to support your union through love and encouragement.
Mother Giving Away the Bride
Some brides may elect to have their mother walk them down the aisle because their father is deceased or for other reason. On the television show Brothers and Sisters, the character Nora played by Sally Field gives her daughter away as follows:
Mother: She gives herself freely with my love and my blessing.
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