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The Maid/Matron of Honor is the primary attendant for the bride (or the groom, depending on the preferences of the couple). If the woman is unmarried, she is referred to as the Maid of Honor. If the woman is married, she is referred to as the Matron of Honor. Widows, divorcées, and those in domestic partnerships are also referred to as the Matron of Honor. Some brides choose to have both a Matron and a Maid of Honor at their wedding, while others choose to only have one. Some brides do not have honor attendants at all and split the duties of the Maid/Matron of Honor amongst the bridesmaids or other attendants.
- For information on attire for the Maid/Matron of Honor, please visit the Attire page.
Traditional Duties of the Maid/Matron of Honor
Bridal Showers
The MOH should be the contact point for planning and scheduling all showers and parties thrown for the bride and be in attendance at each one. She should keep list of gifts and givers to assist the couple in writing thank-you cards. She is the hostess of the pre-wedding parties. Some MOH choose to throw a surprise shower for the bride while others receive the bride's counsel. However, the final arrangements are the duty of the MOH. The Mother of the Bride is traditionally also consulted by the MOH in regards to the bridal shower. If the couple is having a joint shower, the MOH should work in tandem with the Best Man as well.
Dress Shopping
The Maid/Matron of Honor is also generally called upon to help the bride with dress shopping. This shopping may be helping the bride find her dress, helping the bride choose the bridesmaid dresses, and any other attire needs the bride may have. Many modern brides and MOH consider this activity to be amongst the most enjoyable of pre-wedding activities.
The Bachelorette Party
Just as the Best Man is responsible for planning the bachelor party, the Maid/Matron of Honor is responsible for the bachelorette party. This event is generally
Toasts
Traditionally the MOH gives a short toast after the Family Toasts, and the Best Man's Toast at the reception. This toast may be some words about marriage or personal anecdotes about the couple, usually the bride. For tips on giving toasts, see the Toasts page.
Traditional Ceremonial Duties
During the wedding ceremony, the MOH is in charge of:
- Holding the grooms ring
- Arranging the brides train and veil as she moves around
- Holding the bride's bouquet during the exchanging of the vows
- Tending to the ring bearer and flower girl if their parents are not able to do so
- Assiting the Best Man in moving any chairs, candles, etc. that may be needed
- Assiting in directing the bridesmaids and other wedding party members through the processional and recessional, if necessary
Other Culturally-Specific Duties
Traditonally, the Maid/Matron of Honor may also help prepare the bride for the wedding ceremony. In some cultures, this may mean helping her draw a bath or anointing her with perfumes. There are also some ceremonies where the MOH bestows a gift or blessing upon the bride. The MOH may also sign the marriage certificate, mail out thank you notes that have already been prepared by the bride and help the attendants return any rented bridal wear/accessories.
In Jewish weddings, the Maid/Matron of Honor usually serves as a witness under the Chupah. In order to do this, she must be kosher and not related to the bride or groom in any way. She will then also escort the couple to their Yichud immediately following the ceremony.
Traditional Wedding Reception Duties
Among other duties the couple may assign her, the Maid/Matron of Honor traditionally has the following duties during the reception:
- Entertaining guests and serving as a hostess
- Helping distribute toasting glasses/champagne
- Dancing with the Best Man & other guests
- Assisting the coordinator in making sure the reception runs smoothly
- Giving a brief toast
- Gathering the guests together to send off the couple
- Assisting in clean-up after the reception, if necessary
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