Meeting parents

Overview

Meetings with parents can be an often tricky situation. In recent times, the wide variance of strong opinions can make even informal greetings into tension-filled situations. However, there are some things a couple can to do mitigate potential problems.

Your Significant Other Meeting Your Parents

You are at an advantage in this scenario because you know your parents and you know your partner. If you are afraid there might be conflicts, make two lists: on one list all of the things they feel strongly about but do NOT agree, on the other list all of the things they have in common. Construct scenarios in your mind where you can lead them off of the disagreed subjects and on to the common subjects. There are also other ways to help keep the tension at a minimum and come away with smiles.

• If your parents is the aggressive type, approach them beforehand and explain a little bit about your spouse's disposition. Include also that you want their blessing on your partner more than anything and to keep an open mind. Remind them that this is the person you are marrying and to trust your judgement.

• If your partner is the aggressive type, approach him/her beforehand and explain a little bit about how your parents are and their experiences. Impress upon him/her how important it is to you that everyone tries to get along.

• Keep away from potentially volatile subjects. Even if they have the same leanings, it is best to avoid in-depth discussions about religion, politics, child-rearing, and money. Everyone has a very different opinion on these issues and their own opinions on them. Discussing these issues with your parents is not only inappropriate, but can cause one or more parties to dislike the other without taking into consideration the other's good qualities.

• Serve food. People tend to be cranky when they haven't eaten or are tired. By having food there, there is a built-in distraction (if you need it) and all people involved will tend to be in a better mood.

• Be a master of changing the conversation. Practice in advance safe segues into topics that are less controversial and more enjoyable.

Step-Parents

It's nerve-wracking enough meeting your significant other's parents, and vice versa. If there are step-parents in the mix, make sure that your partner understands the way your family is arranged. This helps avoid complicated meetings, especially if both parents have remarried. If you don't get along well with a step-parent, but must still have a meeting or dinner with them prepare your partner ahead of time.