Popping the question
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"Popping the question" is a common colloquialism for someone proposing marriage. Here are some ideas and tips to make this moment both romantic and memorable.
[edit] Making your proposal stand outMany movies will portray this event as occurring in a restaurant, on a holiday (usually at a family function, such as a Christmas party), or on a beach. While these may all be fine, there are definitely ways to make your proposal stand out, whether you're a man proposing to a woman, or an unconventional (and confident) woman proposing to a man (and let's not leave out same-sex couples - you may not be able to legally have a traditional wedding in many places, but a commitment ceremony is a great way to show your love, and a proposal for this is just as important, and can be just as much fun!) ___ 1. Figure out the best time. Obviously, things don't always work out the way we plan, but having a general time of year laid aside as a possibility (if you've been planning a proposal for a while), or making sure your timing isn't poor (if you're a spur-of-the-moment person) can definitely affect the attitude of the answer you receive. For example, if you would like to propose on New Year's Eve, make sure you're either comfortable proposing in front of a crowd at a party (or announcing that engagement/rejection as soon as you come out of hiding), or be sure you have made arrangements elsewhere so that the two of you can have some privacy. Try not to propose around the anniversary of a traumatic event, such as a family death - you may feel as though you're giving them a good memory to counter-act the bad, but you really don't know how someone will react to that sort of conflicting emotion. Birthdays also may not be the best choice, as hard feelings may develop about "overshadowing" one event with another. Sure, it's only really for the one year, but in the case of some families, one year is all it takes to create a grudge forever! ___ 2. Try your best to get the ring "right". This may sound shallow, but work with me here: You've planned it all out, the perfect moment has arrived, and you pull out a yellow gold band with a huge marquis-cut solitaire on it and kneel. She says yes, and you slip the ring on only to find that it's too small. Sure, your diamond dealer offered a free re-size (as most should), so you both take it back. While there, she mentions that she likes white gold better. And that marquis cut isn't comfortable when she works with her hands. What do you do? Nowadays, many women are comfortable giving opinions on jewelry, and even going into a store with you to point out styles they like. If being married is something you've discussed already, this is definitely an option, particularly if you want to get the sizing correct. Obviously, it's not a huge deal if you don't give her the perfect ring the first time, but it can sure save you some inconvenience, as part of the fun of being engaged is showing off, and having to wait two weeks while you explain, "it's being re-sized" takes some of the luster out of the event. If you're trying to surprise her, try asking her mother or friends what sort of jewelry she favors. What kind of stone shape does she like? What kind of metals does she wear? Do they know her approximate ring size? Is her jewelry more antique-looking, or does she favor a more spare, modern design? You can almost never go wrong with a round-cut solitaire - if all else fails, that's the most traditional ring there is, and it's also usually the most affordable. ___ 3. Location, location, location. In My Big Fat Greek Wedding, Ian proposed to Toula while they were in bed. It's an intimate moment, you're usually alone (hey, some of us have kids who won't leave!), and who isn't already happy when they're cuddling? Sometimes, the simplest and most comfortable location is best. Some folks, however, want the event to be memorable, not only by virtue of the date or the ring, but by what was happening at the time. They may enlist in the help of friends or family at an event which they were already planning to attend (a church performance or a party) in order to make a bigger impression. This may not be a good idea if your intended spouse is bashful, however, so be sure you're both going to enjoy what's happening. If you choose this option, you may ask around to see if anyone has any creative ideas about how to go through with it. Someone may have an angle covered that you hadn't thought of, and others may be able to correct you if one of your plans involved something that is, for whatever reason, out of the question. If you choose to propose at home or at a place you're staying during a vacation, one idea that has been used many times with success (or so I hear) is a scavenger hunt: Place notes with clues around the house, each one leading to the next, ending up with the ring and the question, however you choose to present it. This builds suspense, and will either irritate the intended (in which case you probably don't want to marry them, anyway, right?), or will put them in a fun mood, which may increase your chances of not only getting a favorable answer, but if you'd like to continue the evening elsewhere (get your minds out of the gutter, kids), an invitation to do so will be more likely to be accepted. Keep in mind not only what you find fun, but what the person you're asking to marry you will enjoy. You love football, but she'd rather go shoe-shopping? Nix both of them and figure out what you both like that would help elevate the mood for the event. Or, if you're that kind of guy, enlist the held of your local Payless in organizing a scavenger hunt as described above in-store. ___ There are many ways to make your proposal stand out to both of you, and create a fun story to tell others, if you wish. The most important thing is to be sure about your decision - if you're confident, and you're in love, even the "worst" proposal will still be one of the best moments of your life.
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