 Couples, no matter how happy, may desire to have premarital counseling. Premarital counseling is often required by officiants, especially ones from religious institutions, in order for a couple to be married. Many states also give monetary discounts on the marriage license if a premarital course is completed.
Premarital counseling can have a free-form or structured schedule. Some larger places of worship may hold premarital retreats or courses. Some officiants do the counseling themselves while others require the couple see a licensed psychologist. Most premarital counseling is designed to help the couple discuss issues that may come up in their marriage such as child-rearing, needs and expectations, money issues, communication issues, and intimacy.
 Some counselors may have the couple take a compatibility test to encourage discussion. Many premarital counseling programs require participants to take a test. Some couples become intimidated by this test and try to give answers they think they should rather than the answers that are the most true. Premarital counselors use the test as a tool to help the couple through the counseling and not as any sort of judgement on the couple. Therefore, it is within the couple's best interest to give truthful answers to the questions.
Reservations About Premarital Compatibility Tests and Counseling
Some couples are hesitant to take a premarital compatibility test. Some reasons for this and the arguments against these reasons are listed below.
- "The test will tell us we are incompatible" – Every couple, to a certain extent, has incompatible aspects. Different individuals have different opinions. Knowing where these opinions differ can help in resolving future conflict and alerting the couple to things they may need to discuss before the wedding.
- "I know everything about my fiancé" - Even if you have known your partner for most of your life, there may have been opinions that have formed of which you may not be aware. By utilizing an outside source, a couple can discover things about one another- and potentially about themselves- that they didn't know previously.
- "We don’t want to think we have imperfections" – Everyone has things they would like to work on or change, and compatibility tests can show areas of the relationship that may warrant further discussion.
- "I don’t like counseling" – Most premarital counseling only deals with issues brought up on the compatibility test. In-depth couples counseling is generally reserved for when a couple is already having problems and wishes to bring them up specifically. In addition, a couple can inform the premarital counselor of topics that should not be discussed beforehand.
- "The counselor/test might tell us to not get married" – No test will tell you that you should not be married. In addition, a premarital counselor will simply shed light on issues that need work and will not suggest terminating the relationship unless it is abusive or unhealthy.
- "The price is too expensive" – Many places of worship, community counseling centers, and other community centers offer premarital counseling for free. In addition, many states now will give discounts on the cost of a marriage license if the couple completes premarital counseling.
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